sadnesssssssssss
I’m still thinking about the news that still strikes my heart. This still make my heart too sad, and i still can’t control my own heart. Plus the news that newly heard this morning making my heart more ache, the accident that occur to my late grandmother and my uncle and my grandfather is published in the newspaper today. OMG! I’m so sad upon reading that news. The headline is ‘warga emas tercampak dari kerata’. Ya Allah, i’m so damn hurt upon reading it. Just God knows how I felt at that time. Everything went wrong. I dunno how can i control myself, plus i’m too far apart from Malaysia, 9000 kilometres away. Impossible for me to be in Malaysia in the nick of time..
God, please make me stronger than ever. Sometimes i felt guilty, i felt like i still have some sins that still do not get forgiveness from my grandmother. Allah, please forgive all my mistakes to her. I think i have made million mistakes and guilt to her. But nothing will change it, she has gone forever from this world and InsyaAllah heading towards the heaven. God bless her. Everything is turning upside down today, and this evening i just texted my mother in Malaysia, asking about the cadaver of my late grandmother. Alhamdulillah, already safely buried in her hometown-Dungun, Terengganu..
Such a relief when hearing that news, nothing can replace her. Her kindness and dedication towards her siblings, children and her grandchildren are never being competed by others! I love her so much. Know i already know, i really love her, miss her so much. When she was not around like now, i begin to realise she are the kindest women ever!
Actually, i still can’t control myself. Sometimes feeling like wanna crying loudly, crying like a baby, being hopelessly guy. My dream to met her before flying to Egypt is not fulfilled. A little bit feeling upset due to this, but i can do nothing now. She has already gone, gone forever, and never comeback. Just one thing that i can do for her, praying day and night so that her soul will calm and serene . And with Allah mercy, insyaAllah, she will be one of the heaven members.
Yeah, maybe many people will think that i’m too ‘manja’, can’t accept the destiny. Nope! Totally wrong, yeah, i do ‘manja’ because i love her so much. No one can replace her in my heart! But the word of can’t accept the fate is totally over the limit! I do accept the destiny, Allah had already given when will a human being born and when will he or she die. So, i will never ask why did that things happened. Hope you guys understand. Plus if you are in my condition you will be in the same condition like me or maybe worsen. But, the news about my late grandma too much heart breaking me. Yeah! Too hurt to be swollen for! :’(
Now, the only things i can contribute to her is pray her, let her rest in peace in the afterlife.. Amin.. hoping the best for her-my beloved Grandmother Puan Zaleha..